Who needs to sleep?

Not me, that's who. No way. If I never get a single moment of sleep my entire life I will be JUST fine. Really. I have sort of gone into robot mode. I am not in a solid place right now. My nights have become so interrupted and basically fucked up that I've decided why bother? Gavin thinks he can just lay in my bed and grunt and fart all night. Hannah is a bit sicky, and while she's tiny - she knows how to use all of a king size bed.

But I'm fine, I have been weaned off sleep! How great is that? I am baking cakes, and cleaning floors, I am emptying garbages and doing dishes, I am taking care of sick and cranky kids, building forts, and folding laundry (gasp!) all with zero chocolate in my system.

I'm a freaking Rock Star. Seriously. That, and I need some alcohol!

so this grad dress thing...

I did it. I found it. I tried it on. It was hilarious. I wasn't upset because I think I look pretty hot (lol) right now. I've worked hard (well, not so much - just nursing and eating better) but damn, the chocolate I love.

Anyway, what was I saying? Oh, yes. The dress. Turns out it's a size 9/10. NINE/TEN! I had no idea I was that skinny before! 9/10 is fucking smoking when you're 5'7". lol But I tried it on anyway. I didn't feel that slim when I was that slim - weird the way that works, huh?But I am so not a size 9/10 anymore. More like a 14/16. The jeans I'm wearing today are a 14 and a bit big. I don't know why I didn't just leave it in the bag when I looked at the size! I laughed the entire time trying it on, because hello? What moron tries to put it on anyway? I'll never be a size 9/10 again. It's body hugging, it's black, it's shaped like a freaking hour glass, and I'm so fine with never fitting into that again. The extra skin and stretched out abs I refuse to really properly tighten because I hate sit ups will never ever squeeze into that dress again. But I'm keeping it, because my kids will never believe Mom used to be that hot. hehe

love

love love James Blunt. His song "You're Beautiful" makes me cry.

today it's time for things that annoy me...

when my kids take the pillows off the couches and mess them up. whether it just be the decorative pillows, they are never in the right place! or the actual seat cushions, they make great forts you know, fucking hell.

the way the little thingy in the top of my dishwasher keeps falling off.

and the soap I'm currently using in my dishwasher leaves the dishes all streaky, no matter what I do.

the way I need to tell dylan 700 times to get dressed before finally threatening to take away a toy!!

the way Oprah interrupts everyone on her show allll the time.

that my 2 year old is more independant than my 4 year old!!! omg kid!!!

the way terry just drops his clothes where ever in the house after I cleaned up all day!!!!!

that Lost is a rerun tonight. ugh.


with the way the day is going.. I'm sure I'll add more later. blaaahhh..

oh! oh! I forgot!!

A couple things..

So I've been trying to get back in shape after having my kids - and it's been going pretty well. I started this weight loss support group in January of 2005 and the WEEK after I joined I found out I was pregnant with Gavin. So I quit going. Who wants to diet when they are pregnant? Then a month after Gavin was born I started to go again. And I ended up weighing the exact same thing 1 month post partum as I did the first week I joined. Everyone was pretty amazed at that. I don't know if it's the nursing (gotta be) because I don't really do that much exercise. Just trying to eat less, and better.

Anyway! Tonight I thought I'd try on some outfits.. you know, the ones that are pushed waaaaay to the back of your closet, the ones that are dusty on top from lack of wear. Yeah, those ones. One was a skirt/jacket suit that I can't even remember what I bought it for it's that old, and it fit! One was a bridesmaid dress from my best friend in highschool. She was married before I was. And it was BIG on me tonight. BIG! BAGGY! Hanging off of me! eeeeee!! I tried on my wedding dress too. My poor poor forgotten about wedding dress. The train is still muddy from walking through the puddles on my wedding night. I left it hanging out so I can take it to the cleaners the next time I go. The wedding dress fit almost perfectly. It was a bit big on me too, but would pass.

Do I DARE try on my highschool graduation dress???? Terry says no way. He says it won't fit - not even close. He sucks. Is it a bad idea to try it on? And risk it not fitting? Risk him being RIGHT? Ugh, I'd hate that! What do I do?

just tucked my little campers in...

Tonight, my kids are camping together in my 4 year olds bedroom. On the floor. Complete with sleeping bags and flashlights. Who knew how exciting that could be? When I was growing up my sisters and I all shared a bedroom (with my littlest sister sleeping in the laundry room because the bedroom wasn't that big - but we still let her call it her room. Nice of us, ya? So they are in there, each with their own stuffed animal whispering and giggling and no doubt plotting about the many ways they'll make me lose my cool tomorrow. But tonight? It's perfect and I'm so very very lucky.

Cows

So I took the kids outside for a walk today and well, there aren't alot of places to go BUT to the cow pens, so...

Here's a Mommy with her new baby who was born early this morning. Not the poor Mom's best side, I know. But still, aren't they cute? In case you were wondering? My job in the whole cow deal is to write the cow's numbers on the tags that go in their ears. Not WHILE it's in the cows ears, but spread out nicely on my kitchen table.

So then we thought lets go where the action happens so we went here...

That barn in the back there? That's where the babies are born. It gets pretty nasty in there so we decided to stay out. The kids asked me if they could give some Hay to the cows. I said sure,
and Hannah - the girl with no fear - ran right up.

then Dylan thought - ok, she did it - I'll give them hay too!


Only, does it not look a little frightening to you the way they are all standing there looking at them? Like, they will totally eat these kids if they fall into the trough? Yeah, that's what I thought, too.

My cow, yes, I have a cow. I picked her out all on my own.. I didn't get a picture of her. She was out eating or laying down. Being a cow is a busy life you know. But she's red. With a white face. And her name is Georgia.

We don't just hug around here!

We squeak. Any time I hug my kids they squeak. I know it's not a good hug unless they squeak. Is that weird? lol After they squeak, we might giggle, and I might tickle them and they might giggle for me to do it again.

Love it.

And now, THE DRESS!

aka - practice dress aka - my first attempt aka - it's ugly mom.

*sigh* she is SUCH a girl. I bribed her with gum to make her put it on and let me take a picture.

In her defense though - it does look more nightgownish, than pretty summer dressish. But I was just practicing! It was an experiment! I didn't use a pattern! The fabric cost like 1.50! It's hard to tell in the picture, but it's a light purple with specks of pink and green and yellow and blue.

I have bigger and better ideas. More to come...

The girl does know how to strike a pose though, yes?

really, like I needed more temptation

mommy? can we make cookies? with raisins? sure, honey, we can make cookies.

hey, mom? I want my cookies with oatmeal. ok, we'll make some with oatmeal too.

me? well, I wanted cookies too, but I wanted mine with peanut butter, and chocolate chips of course.

so we made those too.

ugh!

hershey dark chocolate chips!

they are soooooooooooooooo good. so good I felt the need to use multiple o's. I could eat the whole bag! and it's only, what 90 calories per tablespoon? And I'm estimating about 28 tablespoons per bag. That's only a mesely 2520 calories! Also, 5 grams of fat per tablespoon. 140 grams of fat! I can eat it all in one day, right? Isn't dark chocolate supposed to be good for you? Right? Please? The first ingredient is sugar though. That's probably not good. How many hours on the treadmill will I need if I eat the whole thing? How many episodes of Lost and Greys Anatomy do I need to watch while walking to work that off?

Only, after eating about 2 tablespoons just now I'm starting to feel a little bit sick. Like, pukey and light headed. *sigh*